i don't like sucking hair
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
