and you said cock pushups were impossible
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
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so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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