I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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