are you so shy because you have an std?
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
