i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
