i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
