We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
