They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
