So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize