if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
