That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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