So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
