Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
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There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
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Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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