her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Randomize