God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
