he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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