i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3pm strippers are depressing
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
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