She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Randomize
