So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
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