Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
