I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
It's not a walk of shame if you run
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Randomize
