I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
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5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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