I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
