yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
