Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize