At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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