your thong is hanging out like whoa
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
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