remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize
