I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
