Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
