You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
