Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
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