Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
