Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Randomize
