you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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