I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
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