Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
