i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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