you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
