Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
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