he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Randomize
