Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
