just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
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