worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
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