Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
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I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
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The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!