Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (201): i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room http://tfl.nu/urin
  Replies (4) Good night (4097) Bad night (898)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  "auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (404): "auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made http://tfl.nu/y4iq
  Replies (23) Good night (894) Bad night (4731)
• Favorite

  (905): View more from Toronto

  I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (905): I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing. http://tfl.nu/u29p
  Replies (16) Good night (1321) Bad night (3604)
• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  I just woke up to me licking the dognuts

  (623): View more from Arizona

  You mean Doughnuts?

  (602): View more from Arizona

  ......No :(

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (602): I just woke up to me licking the dognuts (623): You mean Doughnuts? (602): ......No :( http://tfl.nu/8azm
  Replies (50) Good night (1425) Bad night (17508)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (608): I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon http://tfl.nu/v008
  Replies (10) Good night (1280) Bad night (2078)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (214): Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman. http://tfl.nu/itkd
  Replies (15) Good night (1019) Bad night (3281)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (678): I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow. http://tfl.nu/j7y2
  Replies (4) Good night (2922) Bad night (1019)
• Favorite

  (302): View more from Delaware

  She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (302): She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before. http://tfl.nu/kra3
  Replies (11) Good night (3781) Bad night (684)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (407): I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom. http://tfl.nu/s7cn
  Replies (29) Good night (3725) Bad night (847)
• Favorite

  (647): View more from Ontario

  I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (647): I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French. http://tfl.nu/aztk
  Replies (6) Good night (1329) Bad night (525)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (610): SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE. http://tfl.nu/afff
  Replies (4) Good night (1684) Bad night (1053)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (919): If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier. http://tfl.nu/u3me
  Replies (10) Good night (943) Bad night (523)
• Favorite

  (618): View more from Illinois

  I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (618): I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away. http://tfl.nu/0di0
  Replies (9) Good night (909) Bad night (693)
• Favorite

  (979): View more from Texas

  Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (979): Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo. http://tfl.nu/7yqz
  Replies (1) Good night (541) Bad night (298)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (619): WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY http://tfl.nu/oz1u
  Replies (1) Good night (213) Bad night (76)

Randomize