Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Randomize
