There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
