Texts From Last Night

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  (914): View more from New York

  We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.

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  (914): We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor. http://tfl.nu/1mpx
  Replies (26) Good night (6137) Bad night (752)
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  (416): View more from Ontario

  I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.

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  (416): I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover. http://tfl.nu/3ouv
  Replies (10) Good night (1036) Bad night (4033)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.

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  (301): did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right. http://tfl.nu/lg5g
  Replies (14) Good night (6758) Bad night (1326)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.

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  (813): She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus. http://tfl.nu/fd89
  Replies (19) Good night (7453) Bad night (1314)
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  (951): View more from California

  apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.

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  (951): apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex. http://tfl.nu/6011
  Replies (10) Good night (2366) Bad night (1158)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway

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  (207): Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway http://tfl.nu/yca2
  Replies (2) Good night (2164) Bad night (881)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.

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  (403): Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out. http://tfl.nu/zi3g
  Replies (18) Good night (2243) Bad night (1136)
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  (705): View more from Ontario

  in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.

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  (705): in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out. http://tfl.nu/um8l
  Replies (5) Good night (2007) Bad night (679)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.

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  (902): Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom. http://tfl.nu/6cke
  Replies (9) Good night (1292) Bad night (503)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.

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  (919): You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober. http://tfl.nu/j9kh
  Replies (0) Good night (524) Bad night (339)
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?

  (1-601): View more from Mississippi

  She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.

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  (601): Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes? (1-601): She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her. http://tfl.nu/le6w
  Replies (4) Good night (509) Bad night (342)
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from

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  (864): I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from http://tfl.nu/mmap
  Replies (1) Good night (392) Bad night (588)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.

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  (513): I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs. http://tfl.nu/t152
  Replies (0) Good night (533) Bad night (292)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered

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  (303): Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered http://tfl.nu/0k0t
  Replies (2) Good night (644) Bad night (412)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.

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  (785): What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective. http://tfl.nu/kk8s
  Replies (2) Good night (807) Bad night (375)

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