Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
