Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Your penis caused this!
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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