I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
