You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Randomize
