U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
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