goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
