I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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