We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
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You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
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It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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