so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
