tequila makes me forget i have legs
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
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