She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Randomize
