I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
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