You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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