ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
