I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
handjob tips. give me some.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
