I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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